The Real Rory Gilmore
by girlfrommars139
Summary: Takes place after the end of The Real Paul Anka. The story explains whats going on with Rory and what she thinks. Pretty sure it's a one shot. Short, Literati. Read and Review, please!


A/N: I figured I'd better get my story in before that fanfic board had nothing but stories like this, continuations of 6.18. Basically this is what I wished would've happened. I was so outraged at the end. Rory doesn't deserve Jess, but I so want them together. I hope this does justice to both of them. I read the Rogan story about after The Real Paul Anka, so I figured that all us Literati need one too! Please, please review!

Copyright: Not mine!

Rory walked out of Truncheon Books, utterly confused. She started towards her car, but didn't feel like driving just then, instead she sat down on a bench in front of the store so she could try and make sense of everything.

As Rory went through the events of the day, her head only became more jumbled and not less. What was the matter with her? Why was she hurting everyone she came in contact with? Logan, Jess, herself…

That's when Rory broke down. She couldn't take it anymore. The tears started running.

The truth of the matter was Logan was right. She hadn't forgiven him. How could she have? He cheated on her with an entire bridal party! They weren't separated for two months and he slept with all those girls. It was obvious he didn't love her, she meant nothing to him, and he never cared about her. Why else would he have been with all those women?

The other truth was, Rory had been wrong. How could she even say she loved Logan? For awhile, there had been something there, but it had long ago ceased to exist. Could it be that Rory was scared of change, and that's why she said she loved him? Everything in her life had spun out of control this year. She didn't even really know who she was! Quitting Yale, bumming around, becoming a DAR girl? That wasn't her. Stealing yachts, being with an arrogant, stupid, rich guy wasn't here either. And what she really wasn't, was the girl who stopped talking to her Mom.

She knew all this was in the past. Rory thought she had fixed everything. And then there was Honor's wedding, and suddenly it felt like she wasn't in control again. Maybe that's why she had taken Logan back so quickly. Her life had been so turbulent lately, and all she wanted was stability. Staying with Logan meant nothing would change. Logan was her constant. And that's what she wanted, wasn't it?

But now nothing was right. As much as she hated what Logan did to her, she knew he didn't deserve to be in this relationship where she didn't talk to him or call, a relationship where she didn't care.

Maybe the reason why she came to Philadelphia was that she wanted change. Deep down in her heart she knew she wasn't satisfied. Subconsciously she knew she was pushing Logan away, hoping he'd break up with her. But why did she come _here_?

Rory loved Jess, that was the only explanation, and it was a true one at that. But he was right, everyone today was right except for Rory. He didn't deserve this low-life scum bag she had become. He deserved better treatment and someone who was much better than s he.

Rory knew this, it was one of the only things she was sure of that night, except for one thing. She desperately wanted to deserve him. She needed to be with him. Rory started crying again, crying for what was and crying for what never would be.

She heard the bell above the door that she was sitting close to. Her mind was thinking two different things. "Please let me be invisible! I don't want to hurt anymore, let him walk right by!" But the other part was begging him, "Jess, I need you. Come and sit with me, listen to me ramble, and tell me I'll be fine!"

"Rory?" Jess had indeed noticed the girl sitting on the bench outside his store sobbing. "I thought you'd left."

"I'm so sorry, Jess! You don't deserve my kind of treatment and I was horrible. But I'm really sorry!" Rory blurted.

Jess sat next to her and listened to her whole rant. It made no sense at all, but was completely logical. Maybe they didn't deserve each other, but that didn't matter, because they truly wanted each other. They truly needed each other.

Rory took a deep breath after saying all she had. Her face was red, and her eyes puffy, but the tears had subsided.

Jess had taken in everything she had to say, and made up his mind.

"If I kiss you again, do you promise not to pull away?"

Rory nodded.


End file.
